Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Pisces (if you're going to a grown up party...watch the drinking,..people will be prone to getting drunk!) Moon in Pisces bodes well for dreamy and spacey like experiences..HOW PERFECT FOR TONITE!
Phase...1st Quarter,..lots of energy for trick or treating!
Time...12:10pm
Weather...64 presently in DC but it's going to be very mild for the kids out there...around 57-58 degrees.
Sound...Monster Mash (I'm NOT kidding. Every 6th song is a Halloween type song on this station!)
Mood...tired but o.k., going to take a nap soon...headache all yesterday, not a good nites sleep last nite..must store up some energy for tonite!

BirthdayShoutOuts To: Larry Mullen Jr. (drummer, U2) #45...Dan Rather #75 and Deidre Hall (Days Of Our Lives) #59

*A quick story about Deidre Hall..she has a twin sister named Andrea and Andrea was also on the show (you Days of Our Lives fans can give the specifics!) but before she was a famous soap star, she was a special ed. teacher at my fiance's and my middle school in Tallahassee, FL. (circa '73-'76)!! I used to see her all the time. Nice lady, seemed quiet.

QuoteDiva Sez: "A gentleman with a pugnose is a contradiction in terms." -Edgar Allen Poe!

Remember when you were a kid and it was party day. Most decent teachers cut you some slack and let you have a fun day? Well today I'm taking a break from my usual writing assignment where I choose a topic at random (involving astrological based, Sabian Symbols) and write about it. Instead I would like to keep it light, especially after yesterday's somber post!

First and foremost,...it's my one month anniversary and I want to again thank so many out there for their support, advice and humor these past 31 days!!!! It's been a hoot, hysterical and a pure joy to come to my computer to write, be heard, laugh and share a woe!

I'm still a newbie but you all make me feel warm and welcomed.

In a month I've gone from obscurity to starting rumors about panties... And along the way I've journaled thoughts and feelings for my kids, so it's not a total bust!

I've done pretty well at sticking with my assignments even though some days they weren't that happy or inspiring. But then life isn't always happy or seemingly inspiring. But even in the unhappy chapters and the frustrations we experience, we learn and have things to share!

I really wish there was more seasonal emoticons...I'm still waiting for the pumpkin one and the turkey one! Fer cryin' outloud, there's a freaking SANTA down there.... and yet, no jack-o-lantern..maybe next year.

I was walking with my fiance last night and I asked him what he'd dress up as if he and I were going to a costume party? I can't remember what he said (duh, par for the course) but he said he'd dress me up as an old time bar wench. A hispanic bar wench..o.k., I'd go as a gypsy as a compromise. I also am partial to pirate ladies and Annie Oakley. Any woman who has an independent streak! (I'm NOT independent, so it's all about projecting an image through a costume!)

My first costume, ('65) was a ballerina clown...and wow,..that was prophetic because I was a ballerina for many years AND a bit of a clown along the way too! (PS NO CLOWNS PLZ..I don't like 'em!)

My favorite candies can be found in the three major Halloween Food Groups...1.)Tootsie Rolls...2.) Starbursts and 3.)Double Bubble Gum
(Candy Corn comes under the heading of %$#@!fruitcake!

My favorite Halloween was in '76 (15) when a bunch of us girls and I had a slumber party at my house. We dressed up and went out three different times and played all the usual spooky games..."Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board"...ouija board..."Bloody Mary." as well as playing in the woods out back! oooohhh scary stuff! That was the last time I went trick or treating.

And who can forget the Halloween that changed the holiday forever...wasn't it '81?! Depressing,..suddenly we found ourselves trick or treating or taking our own children trick or treating in MALLS!??? How whacked was that! Halloween terrorist tried to ruin it for AMERICA but we fought back although we became a little wiser and a lot less naive.

Remember when people would invite you in for donuts and hot chocolate or cider! People had haunted garages....we bobbed for apples and never worried about catching anything! Sigh*

Well, we still have our fun...were just more careful these days.

My fiance and my daughter's boyfriend both had to go on bizniz trips today and won't be around for tonite So it's Miss Virgo and MommyRubble doing the thang by ourselves..yup, sistah's are doin' it for themselves. Were armed with candy and we shall take no prisoners!

I'm taping my Dancing With The Stars so I won't miss a minute of the fun! (That's must see tv for me!)

But for now, I'm exhausted...not much sleep lately, headaches...too much damned blogging!! LOL

Going to take a nap

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!!

Back to the writing assignment tomorrow!

~pr~ er... BOOOO!

PS)See my icon...that's me in costume! Sure it is!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Aquarius (new ideas will pop up today and tomorrow!)
Phase...1st Quarter (commitment IS action)
Time...4:15pm
Weather...73 degrees and clear/sunny
Sound...Dr. Phil House.
Mood...headache and not happy with the topic of my post or the fact that this is my second try at it.
BirthdayShoutOuts to: Gavin "I Gwen" Rossdale, #41 and Henry "HEEEYYYYY" Winkler #61!? WOW.

QuoteDiva Sez: "The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself." -anon.

SabianChallenge: 17 degrees Aquarius. A watchdog standing guard, protecting his master and his possessions. You feel unsafe at the moment and needing to be alert to signs of trouble. Enlisting the support of trusted and loyal supporters maybe helpful. The caution: suspicion and paranoia that rid one of the joy of ownership.

This is my second try at this post. I am hoping only one other read it! She commented about it and I explained why she then couldn't see my post again, she's new to the stream and I explained I deleted it as soon as I re read it. Not only was there a technical snafu...but after re-reading, I chose to just pretend it never happened. It really wasn't the post I wanted displayed.

And this is not going to be a verbatim post.

...

My main focus on this blog started out as a journal for my kids to read in a couple of years. I could do it on a more personal level where no one reads it and no one comments.

But I admit, I don't mind people reading or commenting but I admit, I am not seeking out negative comments. I'm not asking for people to take my words or photos and warp them maliciously or use them in any other way but the way I intended.

Yet, when you put yourself out there in this microcosm cyber world, anything can happen. If you haven't just fallen off the turnip truck, you know the pitfalls. Most of us have had computers in our homes since the early to mid 90s and we aren't totally naive about the ways of the cyber world.

While I am what I am and who I say I am, not everyone out there is representing who they really are. Sometimes their motive is simply to stay totally anonymous, other people are testing the waters, still others are simply trying to attract some much needed attention.

As long as their motives are fueled by positivity it's o.k. with me. And will be encouraged and warmly welcomed here at "Rubble Central" :)

Kids, this journal is for you. If it ever has to stop, I will find a different way of expressing views about my life for you to one day read-don't worry about that!

But I do enjoy the camaraderie found here in the stream. I appreciate the humor and fun found here. I dig the warm hearts encountered in these cool waters!

But for now,...I proceed with caution as you should in life! I hate that it's that way but it's a different world than when I was your age (15-19)

My dad, such a bright man, once told me, "Go through life with fearless caution--DON'T WALK ON ICE WITH BOTH HANDS IN YOUR POCKET!"

Mom

*This is my last post about such a dismal topic! On with the JOURNALING!!!!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Capricorn (claim your authority!)
Phase...Crescent
Time...4:35am
Weather...46 degrees and partly cloudy in DC
Sound...some early morning talk show about tri-omegas keeping skin healthy looking.
Mood...pretty awake.

BirthdayShoutOuts to: Winona Ryder #35 and Richard Dreyfuss #59
QuoteDiva Sez: "Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action. -Mahatma Ghandi.

SabianChallenge: Virgo 2 degrees. A large, white cross, dominating the landscape, stands alone on top of a high hill. Signposts and other expressions of our faith have a powerful influence. The sense that suffering is the way to salvation has special significance for many people but what does it all really mean. Religious ideals dominating.

...

Eeesh...another religious oriented post. I don't like writing about politics and religion. Not only because those are two divisive subjects (and for someone like me that doesn't like confrontation and the bad vibes that sometime come from such debates,) but I'm not some religious expert. Same for politics. I am soo not political.

But it's the assignment so..

My oldest is 19 and she's never been made to go to a church although she has a friend that while they were younger, was a big church-goer and whenever my girl would go over for Sat. nite sleep-overs, she'd be invited to go to church the next morning. My daughter went along and was amused by the ritual but she also thought of it as as an experience to learn from another's way of life. I thought that was pretty cool on her part. She never balked at going. Sometimes she felt as though her friend's fellow church patrons were a bit out there and perhaps a bit closed minded to other people's way of lives. Her friend was always trying to get her to "come to the Lord" but the young girl was polite and respectful about it but was pretty persistent about it at the same time. My daughter was a long time hold out.

Recently, I found out from my daughter that this other girl who is also 19, has 'taken a break' from religion (and coincidentally or NOT SO coincidentally,) has taken up living with a guy! She's in college and living the college life but still trying to remain in many ways, that good little church going girl she used to be. (But college, hell, life in general have a way of testing the most stalwart human sometimes!) Daughter says when she visited with her Church friend a few weeks ago, she certainly didn't try to save my eldest! That was different! Is she now "of the world" or is this just a period of experimentation? Daughter is not sure at this writing!

Did I do a disservice to my kids by not exposing them to some religious foundation. I had it. From the time I was 6-10 I went to catechism and learned all the songs and read all the Bible stories. But looking back it seems it was my parents that instilled my values more so than the church. The church however did reinforce being a good kid but there was also a lot of bs involved! I do know my parents themselves had been made to go to church. Both came from Roman Catholic backgrounds. ("made to go" that's what I have a problem with, the feeling of obligation connected with church. Haven't resolved that yet in my life, perhaps I never will. UGH religion, I really do hate this assignment!)

I do however appreciate the fact that they went and my mom was pretty active for many years in whatever church we were members of and on whatever part of the planet (Army family) but neither dad or mom TALKED about religion or about God to me. Instead, they showed me God's love in deed, action and not words. My mom showed me her faith in God when she bravely struggled with cancer for 8 years. My father showed God's love when he not only was there for my mother 110% but in his support of his family. My grandmother, God bless her heart, she was this 4'10, 89lb woman who was left crippled with a stroke the last 20 years of her life. She couldn't walk without much aid and she lost the use of her left hand BUT she was an absolute "prayer warrior" for the family. I remember plenty of nites, I would get up, walk past her room and hear her whispering the rosary. (To say the full Rosary, takes hours!) We knew we were always in her prayers.

I'm hoping that my kids will not come to regret or feel bitterness against my ex and I for not sending them off to Sunday School. So far at 19, 17 and 15 they haven't said anything about not attending church. But you never know,...as they get older, they have a way of springing things on you. Things that at the time you thought weren't such a big deal or things you didn't even realize you were doing and all the while it WAS a big deal and it was bothering them big time.

(Example, I used to brag about eldest being my "right-hand man" to just about everyone I talked to about her but years later she tells me that idea about her used to put pressure on her to live up to it. Ouch,.. go figger?!)

Despite the fact I don't go to church and I don't send my kids to church, I realize that for many, it's important and something that they feel the need or obligation to expose to their children. I have no problem with that. I have a problem with those who make you feel you are less than they are because you don't.

I also have a problem with society showing cruelness to people that want to live differently but who are not hurting anyone.

I still have my questions about things I read in the Bible. But I think in many ways, it can be a handbook on how to live with more joy and live with more success in this world. I just don't want it forced down my throat. I used to work with someone who did that too me and she just sucked the life force out of me, not to mention, it meant she took time away from doing her work!

Again, just like in my last post about religion, I said I still go back to things I learned in church, in times of stress! I told you that when I'm in a highly stressful, scary situation, I say The Lords Prayer and I must admit, when I see an ambulance or when I had to stick the key in the ignition of a car on it's last leg (for three nerve-wracking years) I used to do the sign of the cross!

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, please, Dear God, let this car start and get me to work,..just one...more...day!

~pr~

PS) hmm..interesting how I randomly selected this particular symbol and it's a SUNDAY morning!?

PPS) OMG I get an extra hour of sleep...let me goooo!!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Capricorn (do your joints hurt today?)
Phase...Crescent (do I sleep, do I clean. The energy is mixed today.)
Time...2:15pm
Weather...48 degrees and light rain in DC
Sound...Tracey Chapman,..."Fast Car"
Mood...agitated, nervous (too much coffee.)
Birthday Shout Out to: Kelly Osbourne #22 and Teddy Roosevelt!
QuoteDiva sez: "Adventure is not outside; it is within." -David Grayson

SabianChallenge: Virgo 27 degrees. Aristocratic elderly ladies drinking afternoon tea in a wealthy home. Face your situation with elegant composure as it will bring the respect of others. However keeping things looking respectable may take on too much importance. The question is: how real about life and each other are the people gathering. Caution: social exclusivity and smugness. Idle gossip.

...

*I have had two cups of coffee..nervous, agitated,..I have the sounds of construction going on outside AND I only have 15 mins. to work on this assignment! Not great factors to try and write something profound. To my kids who might be reading this in the future,..your mom sometimes had too much of the adult beverage, had hangovers, woke up the next day and tried to coffee her way out of a BAD hangover! argh...I can't even concentrate. I have to go out shopping for Halloween stuff...I hear the clock ticking...

O.k., clear the ole head Rubble (and it feels like it too!)...

My dad was a smart man, not just smart, INTELLIGENT! In fact he had a genius IQ. His mom and my mom were always trying to get him to join Mensa. The only association or club he ever belonged to was the NRA as he felt that amendment was an important one and hell, he taught marksmanship in the Army. Knowing my dad, there must have been a much more pragmatic reason he was a member. (Gawd, I wish he was around...lost him 19 years ago and it's only now as I get older that I seem to have a MILLION questions to ask him. Where were these questions when I was younger???)

But he once told me that he wasn't into clubs or organizations, he paraphrased a quote of I believe, Will Rodgers. Will once said something like,.."I don't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member." That was my dad's philosophy I suppose but I know for a fact he didn't like the politics, the gossip, the nonsense involved in being part of a whole like that.

He detested beauty contests and awards shows. "Too much damned back slapping for me!"

He attended a church "religiously" but never became an active member. He simply came with mom each week, tossed some money into the basket, shook a hand and left. He showed his service to God 7 days a week in other ways.

I am hoping to find out one day that my adoptive dad was my real dad! There's a slim chance. That would certainly explain our same fourth toes, our love of words and writing and this inexplicable dislike I have of being part of any club!

I have such a streak of independence that I wouldn't like to ever get tangled up in such entities. Trust me, I have in the past. I was a member of Phi Theta Kappa my first year of college and could never really understand what good they did (this particular chapter was all about having a good time! Woo hoo! Were smart AND we can PARRRTEHHHH!)

I became a founding member of a dance assoc. but I feel it was under duress! I loved to teach dance, wasn't into the politics.

I was recruited into the Stepford Wife-ian world of Mary Kay for a short time back in 2001 by a woman who could stand in for Janet Reno. That was a horrible experience! I was not EVER cut out to drive a pink Cadillac apparently. I'm sorry, when you say "no" to the cherry plum wine lipstick I have to sell ya'...I say, "okie doke" And uh I guess that's not how MaryKay borgs work?! Resistance seemed futile but I made my escape and never looked back!

To my kids I would say...choose your friends wisely and choose your organizations even more wisely because you are the company you keep. You lie with swill, you're gonna' get dirty.

You hang with elitist, snobs, bigoted or dense people, others will see YOU as such.

I think after 44 years, I'll go solo. The only club I want to be part of right now...my family.

~pr~

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Sagittarius (are your kidneys or legs acting up?)
Phase...Crescent (you have a choice of falling asleep in the poppy field or charging forward!)
Time...3:10pm
Weather...55 degrees and partly sunny in DC
Mood...good
Sound..."Dancing in the Dark." -Bruce Springsteen
BirthdayShoutOuts To: Napoleon Dynamite's John Heder #29 and Hillary Rodham Clinton

QuoteDiva Sez: "I am awake to my good, and gather in the harvest of endless opportunities." -Florence Scovel Shinn

SabianChallenge: A harvest moon illuminates the sky. This is an abundant time of harvest. The sky is clear and conditions are perfect. The harvest moon is a positive sign, with high energy as it's a time of fertility and abundance. Situations ripe and full of fruition. Celebrating what you have. Caution: neglecting the tasks at hand because of the APPEARANCE of abundance.

...

I was torn. Sherry said something to me yesterday that really made me want to write about my fiance. I said to her that I just might be tempted to stray from my personal daily writing challenge (aka the Sabian Challenge)and do it. But then I thought nah, I'll stay committed to my purpose here...to pick a symbol and write about THAT.

As luck should have it (not luck...it was meant to be this way!) I clicked and picked a symbol about harvest moon. Not only is it timely in that hell, it's AUTUMN but in how I interpret the symbol in regards to my own life. Bottom line,..I'm going to write about my fiance.

Fiance IS a HUGE part of the abundance I am experiencing in my life at this time. That's why I can in good conscience, write about him! I win by a technicality.

And so Sherry...let me start with something you said. You told me you'd rather pick the guys that feel they are lucky to have YOU and not the other way around. Amen sistahfriend!

But let me go back to the beginning...

My fiance and I attended the same middle school in Tall. Fl. The year was '75 and we were in 8th grade. One of our writing assignments back then was to write about some eco system issue and it happened to be the poor little oysters in Apalachicola bay. Every blessed 8th grader in the whole school had to write an essay for their writing/english class. What we didn't know was that our teacher had probably done this in cahoots with an FSU student at the time.

About 6 of us were chosen based on our gripping writing skills of said Oysters. Fiance and I, my best buddy "Jane", our soon to be friend, Suzy" and two other kids invited to appear on a "panel discussion" of the oysters. The host was this strawberry redhead with freckles. A real freshly-scrubbed FSU senior. Her name was Gayle.

We were introduced to each other and then on with the show. The show didn't come on until weeks later and at 6 in the morning but by God, we were on TV damn it!

The next year fiance and I ended up in a few classes together.

But I moved away for 10th grade.

In 2002 we hooked up via classmates.com to say hey and exchange some emails. In 2005 we said hello again. But this time both of us were in different places in our lives and available. He had come to the conclusion that after 11 years of a bad marriage and no kids, he was done and I had finally admitted to God that I wasn't doing a great job picking out my OWN men!

We've been together since July and I've lived up here with him since April. We plan to get married next year.

I was telling Sherry that this was different. Number one, he was not what I was looking for physically. But his personality and soul were a perfect fit for me!

I used to stand behind my boyfriend and mentally gush about how lucky I WAS to be with HIM and now I catch my fiance looking at me the same way. But he won't keep it to himself, he tells me everyday how blessed he is. I still find it,...weird! I look in the mirror and battle with myself. On one hand I think..."how can anyone feel that way about me?" And the other argument is..."why not you!?"

He is so different than the other men that have come before him in my single years. He sees the pretty and not the rubble.

Aside from my three children (who really like him AND THAT WAS A NON-NEGOTIABLE, if they didn't get along, I would have had to have said, take a hike. ) he has been the biggest blessing I've ever received in my life! NOT an understatement.

It's not a perfect day in paradise everyday for us. We are still getting to know each other but you know when it's right. At 44 I pretty much know what it is I need and want.

He's my harvest moon and I'm celebrating what I have and who I have it all with, on a daily basis.

~pr~

PS)"Gayle" went on to be Gayle Sierens,...an institution in News Broadcasting in the Tampa Bay area!