Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Pisces (did you have a weird dream last night? Was it bordering on psychic?)
Phase...1st Quarter
Time...1:30pm
Weather...70 degrees and scattered clouds in DC (don't be jealous!)
Sound..."Don't Go Breakin' My Heart." (Ahh, I loved this song! But the over-alls they wore...UGH!)
Mood...rested.
BirthdayShoutOuts to: Lyle Lovett (#49) and Jenny McCarthy (#34)

QuoteDiva Sez: "The great and glorious masterpiece of humanity is to know how to live with a purpose." -Montagne

SabianChallenge: Scorpio 14 degrees. Telephone linesmen at work installing new connections. If you've been experiencing failure in fully expressing your thoughts, ideas or emotions lately, there's nothing to be achieved by worrying about it. Do something to repair your lines of communication. The Internet. Linking people from all over the world. Becoming involved in other people's lives. Gossip.

...

Now that's funny because the Sabian Symbols were created in the 30s before Internet of course but including the internet in the interpretation is a creation of modern day astrologers/psychics I suppose! Back then the issue would have been being a busy body and a gossip, now we throw in Internet because boy can we get involved via this tool!

It's so easy to get wrangled and entangled in the surrealism of the cyber world isn't it. Unfortunately it's REAL people in a surreal existence! But as I've already written about this a few days ago, I don't want to rehash.

So now let me think about the assignment. What to write about? A break down in communication? Yes! I got it!

I pride myself on being expressive and communicative BUT I have my borders and restrictions. I despise the phone. I don't even like calling my own kids (the ones living with their dad 1000 miles away.) I love talking to them just not over the phone. Mind you, I do but it's not something I get into like some people.

My hatred for the phone begun in my early teens. I was never one of those big telephone teen talkers. But the few times I would talk on the phone, my mom was right there (these were the days when most homes had one centrally located phone.)and she'd be listening, making remarks under her breath and then when I got off the phone she was giving me the third degree! It didn't take me long to realize me, mom and talking on the phone was not something that was going to be an enjoyable thing. So I pretty much gave up.

My favorite mode of communication was writing and talking.

This has continued to this day. Not only do I just not like it but I always feel like I'm intruding when I call someone. Fear of rejection!? No doubt. But then some people can't stand to email! I love to email. I love the actual physical act of typing! I discovered typing when I got my first typewriter, a plastic number for my 10th bday...that and the tape recorder I got for my 6th X-Mas were the two best gifts I got in my childhood years!

Some people love to play the piano, some love the feel of a golf club in their hands! I like the feeling of my fingers flying across the keys! After not having a computer for 2-1/2 years a few years back, I found it frustrating; I had lost my speed big time. I had always been a fast typist (although not professionally trained.)so now it felt like I was some sort of stroke victim, having to teach myself all over again! I even forgot where the letters were sometimes!

But in a month's time I was back! And back to doing something I love to do! Emailing/communicating and typing!

I have to laugh when my friends tell me in emails,.."this might be the only email you get this year from me, I'm not much of a writer or emailer." I get a lot of that. I respond with a, "Well, please don't be offended if I never call you!" I'm not trying to be mean or a snot, I just don't like it!

And as a little joke, God once took the phone away from us entirely! Back in 1999 or so, my ex just refused to pay for the telephone bill and it was cut off! I even tried to get it put in my name but no dice. They said, until this situation is rectified, no phones will be hooked up at that same residence. Husband being the stubborn man he was, said fine, fuck it, we don't need a phone. (The bill was pretty high and we weren't doing so well financially with a home and three young kids...)

SO for the next 3 or 4 years we had NO PHONE ENTIRELY! And yes it was a pain! We didn't have cell phones then yet so in order to make a call, we had to drive to a nearby gas station. Sometimes we did that in the pouring rain or at night. Every once in awhile I could catch my next door neighbor and ask to use hers but who wants to keep doing that over and over, we weren't that close.

I was so proud however, when I went out on my own, I got a phone in my name and I hung on to that phone for almost 5 years. Oh sure there were close calls with the bill, many times but I did it. I had the same number all that time!

Sometimes I wish I could just email all the time...type everything! Like the character in The Piano! Holly Hunter plays a deaf/mute who does sign language that only her 10 year old can understand or she writes things down on this little notebook she wears around her neck!

I heard Larry Hagman doesn't even talk at all on Sundays! I've often attempted that but I get 20 mins into it and then something would come up and I HAD to talk!

It's ironic, I want to get into voice over work!! But that's different. I also have a dislike for banter and chit chat. I hate small talk! When I talk, there's got to be purpose behind it. I've had to make small talk, I've had to bs and yes, I've been party to gossiping in my life but for the most part I don't care for it, not really.

I was joking around with a fellow blogger the other day, I wrote that I wish there was a keyboard implanted in my left forearm and in my palm, a monitor! That way I wouldn't have to talk-I could communicate to people like that if I wanted.

I'm a sociable person to an extent. When fiance and I are out, we both invariably start chatting it up with the cashier or the sales guy or the waiter and I can do that, in short spurts. That serves A PURPOSE...it endears you to that person who has to SERVE you! They go out of their way more, they smile at you, they don't spit in your food! etc...

I guess I'm a communication paradox! Reserved but sociable, hate the telephone, love the email! I can small talk with the best of 'em but hate it....I would rather type to you than talk to you....I'd rather not talk but I want to go into voice over!
If I ever become somewhat famous for my voice, I'll be torn between telling everyone THATS ME!! I DO THE VOICE FOR THAT CHARACTER or COMMERCIAL!! and needing my privacy!

Go figger...

..."I am a linesmen for the county and I drive the main road...

.....and the Wichita Lineman is still on the LIIIINNNNEEEE!"

~pr~

PS)add this to irony...I once started schooling to be a PBX Switchboard Operator..just ask a teen these days what that even IS!!! Me, an operator? Again though,..if it's talking with a purpose, I might have been able to do that but here's the communication paradox at work again,...I couldn't have stood to be a telephone solicitor!!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Pisces (if you're going to a grown up party...watch the drinking,..people will be prone to getting drunk!) Moon in Pisces bodes well for dreamy and spacey like experiences..HOW PERFECT FOR TONITE!
Phase...1st Quarter,..lots of energy for trick or treating!
Time...12:10pm
Weather...64 presently in DC but it's going to be very mild for the kids out there...around 57-58 degrees.
Sound...Monster Mash (I'm NOT kidding. Every 6th song is a Halloween type song on this station!)
Mood...tired but o.k., going to take a nap soon...headache all yesterday, not a good nites sleep last nite..must store up some energy for tonite!

BirthdayShoutOuts To: Larry Mullen Jr. (drummer, U2) #45...Dan Rather #75 and Deidre Hall (Days Of Our Lives) #59

*A quick story about Deidre Hall..she has a twin sister named Andrea and Andrea was also on the show (you Days of Our Lives fans can give the specifics!) but before she was a famous soap star, she was a special ed. teacher at my fiance's and my middle school in Tallahassee, FL. (circa '73-'76)!! I used to see her all the time. Nice lady, seemed quiet.

QuoteDiva Sez: "A gentleman with a pugnose is a contradiction in terms." -Edgar Allen Poe!

Remember when you were a kid and it was party day. Most decent teachers cut you some slack and let you have a fun day? Well today I'm taking a break from my usual writing assignment where I choose a topic at random (involving astrological based, Sabian Symbols) and write about it. Instead I would like to keep it light, especially after yesterday's somber post!

First and foremost,...it's my one month anniversary and I want to again thank so many out there for their support, advice and humor these past 31 days!!!! It's been a hoot, hysterical and a pure joy to come to my computer to write, be heard, laugh and share a woe!

I'm still a newbie but you all make me feel warm and welcomed.

In a month I've gone from obscurity to starting rumors about panties... And along the way I've journaled thoughts and feelings for my kids, so it's not a total bust!

I've done pretty well at sticking with my assignments even though some days they weren't that happy or inspiring. But then life isn't always happy or seemingly inspiring. But even in the unhappy chapters and the frustrations we experience, we learn and have things to share!

I really wish there was more seasonal emoticons...I'm still waiting for the pumpkin one and the turkey one! Fer cryin' outloud, there's a freaking SANTA down there.... and yet, no jack-o-lantern..maybe next year.

I was walking with my fiance last night and I asked him what he'd dress up as if he and I were going to a costume party? I can't remember what he said (duh, par for the course) but he said he'd dress me up as an old time bar wench. A hispanic bar wench..o.k., I'd go as a gypsy as a compromise. I also am partial to pirate ladies and Annie Oakley. Any woman who has an independent streak! (I'm NOT independent, so it's all about projecting an image through a costume!)

My first costume, ('65) was a ballerina clown...and wow,..that was prophetic because I was a ballerina for many years AND a bit of a clown along the way too! (PS NO CLOWNS PLZ..I don't like 'em!)

My favorite candies can be found in the three major Halloween Food Groups...1.)Tootsie Rolls...2.) Starbursts and 3.)Double Bubble Gum
(Candy Corn comes under the heading of %$#@!fruitcake!

My favorite Halloween was in '76 (15) when a bunch of us girls and I had a slumber party at my house. We dressed up and went out three different times and played all the usual spooky games..."Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board"...ouija board..."Bloody Mary." as well as playing in the woods out back! oooohhh scary stuff! That was the last time I went trick or treating.

And who can forget the Halloween that changed the holiday forever...wasn't it '81?! Depressing,..suddenly we found ourselves trick or treating or taking our own children trick or treating in MALLS!??? How whacked was that! Halloween terrorist tried to ruin it for AMERICA but we fought back although we became a little wiser and a lot less naive.

Remember when people would invite you in for donuts and hot chocolate or cider! People had haunted garages....we bobbed for apples and never worried about catching anything! Sigh*

Well, we still have our fun...were just more careful these days.

My fiance and my daughter's boyfriend both had to go on bizniz trips today and won't be around for tonite So it's Miss Virgo and MommyRubble doing the thang by ourselves..yup, sistah's are doin' it for themselves. Were armed with candy and we shall take no prisoners!

I'm taping my Dancing With The Stars so I won't miss a minute of the fun! (That's must see tv for me!)

But for now, I'm exhausted...not much sleep lately, headaches...too much damned blogging!! LOL

Going to take a nap

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!!

Back to the writing assignment tomorrow!

~pr~ er... BOOOO!

PS)See my icon...that's me in costume! Sure it is!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Aquarius (new ideas will pop up today and tomorrow!)
Phase...1st Quarter (commitment IS action)
Time...4:15pm
Weather...73 degrees and clear/sunny
Sound...Dr. Phil House.
Mood...headache and not happy with the topic of my post or the fact that this is my second try at it.
BirthdayShoutOuts to: Gavin "I Gwen" Rossdale, #41 and Henry "HEEEYYYYY" Winkler #61!? WOW.

QuoteDiva Sez: "The fear of rejection is worse than rejection itself." -anon.

SabianChallenge: 17 degrees Aquarius. A watchdog standing guard, protecting his master and his possessions. You feel unsafe at the moment and needing to be alert to signs of trouble. Enlisting the support of trusted and loyal supporters maybe helpful. The caution: suspicion and paranoia that rid one of the joy of ownership.

This is my second try at this post. I am hoping only one other read it! She commented about it and I explained why she then couldn't see my post again, she's new to the stream and I explained I deleted it as soon as I re read it. Not only was there a technical snafu...but after re-reading, I chose to just pretend it never happened. It really wasn't the post I wanted displayed.

And this is not going to be a verbatim post.

...

My main focus on this blog started out as a journal for my kids to read in a couple of years. I could do it on a more personal level where no one reads it and no one comments.

But I admit, I don't mind people reading or commenting but I admit, I am not seeking out negative comments. I'm not asking for people to take my words or photos and warp them maliciously or use them in any other way but the way I intended.

Yet, when you put yourself out there in this microcosm cyber world, anything can happen. If you haven't just fallen off the turnip truck, you know the pitfalls. Most of us have had computers in our homes since the early to mid 90s and we aren't totally naive about the ways of the cyber world.

While I am what I am and who I say I am, not everyone out there is representing who they really are. Sometimes their motive is simply to stay totally anonymous, other people are testing the waters, still others are simply trying to attract some much needed attention.

As long as their motives are fueled by positivity it's o.k. with me. And will be encouraged and warmly welcomed here at "Rubble Central" :)

Kids, this journal is for you. If it ever has to stop, I will find a different way of expressing views about my life for you to one day read-don't worry about that!

But I do enjoy the camaraderie found here in the stream. I appreciate the humor and fun found here. I dig the warm hearts encountered in these cool waters!

But for now,...I proceed with caution as you should in life! I hate that it's that way but it's a different world than when I was your age (15-19)

My dad, such a bright man, once told me, "Go through life with fearless caution--DON'T WALK ON ICE WITH BOTH HANDS IN YOUR POCKET!"

Mom

*This is my last post about such a dismal topic! On with the JOURNALING!!!!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Capricorn (claim your authority!)
Phase...Crescent
Time...4:35am
Weather...46 degrees and partly cloudy in DC
Sound...some early morning talk show about tri-omegas keeping skin healthy looking.
Mood...pretty awake.

BirthdayShoutOuts to: Winona Ryder #35 and Richard Dreyfuss #59
QuoteDiva Sez: "Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action. -Mahatma Ghandi.

SabianChallenge: Virgo 2 degrees. A large, white cross, dominating the landscape, stands alone on top of a high hill. Signposts and other expressions of our faith have a powerful influence. The sense that suffering is the way to salvation has special significance for many people but what does it all really mean. Religious ideals dominating.

...

Eeesh...another religious oriented post. I don't like writing about politics and religion. Not only because those are two divisive subjects (and for someone like me that doesn't like confrontation and the bad vibes that sometime come from such debates,) but I'm not some religious expert. Same for politics. I am soo not political.

But it's the assignment so..

My oldest is 19 and she's never been made to go to a church although she has a friend that while they were younger, was a big church-goer and whenever my girl would go over for Sat. nite sleep-overs, she'd be invited to go to church the next morning. My daughter went along and was amused by the ritual but she also thought of it as as an experience to learn from another's way of life. I thought that was pretty cool on her part. She never balked at going. Sometimes she felt as though her friend's fellow church patrons were a bit out there and perhaps a bit closed minded to other people's way of lives. Her friend was always trying to get her to "come to the Lord" but the young girl was polite and respectful about it but was pretty persistent about it at the same time. My daughter was a long time hold out.

Recently, I found out from my daughter that this other girl who is also 19, has 'taken a break' from religion (and coincidentally or NOT SO coincidentally,) has taken up living with a guy! She's in college and living the college life but still trying to remain in many ways, that good little church going girl she used to be. (But college, hell, life in general have a way of testing the most stalwart human sometimes!) Daughter says when she visited with her Church friend a few weeks ago, she certainly didn't try to save my eldest! That was different! Is she now "of the world" or is this just a period of experimentation? Daughter is not sure at this writing!

Did I do a disservice to my kids by not exposing them to some religious foundation. I had it. From the time I was 6-10 I went to catechism and learned all the songs and read all the Bible stories. But looking back it seems it was my parents that instilled my values more so than the church. The church however did reinforce being a good kid but there was also a lot of bs involved! I do know my parents themselves had been made to go to church. Both came from Roman Catholic backgrounds. ("made to go" that's what I have a problem with, the feeling of obligation connected with church. Haven't resolved that yet in my life, perhaps I never will. UGH religion, I really do hate this assignment!)

I do however appreciate the fact that they went and my mom was pretty active for many years in whatever church we were members of and on whatever part of the planet (Army family) but neither dad or mom TALKED about religion or about God to me. Instead, they showed me God's love in deed, action and not words. My mom showed me her faith in God when she bravely struggled with cancer for 8 years. My father showed God's love when he not only was there for my mother 110% but in his support of his family. My grandmother, God bless her heart, she was this 4'10, 89lb woman who was left crippled with a stroke the last 20 years of her life. She couldn't walk without much aid and she lost the use of her left hand BUT she was an absolute "prayer warrior" for the family. I remember plenty of nites, I would get up, walk past her room and hear her whispering the rosary. (To say the full Rosary, takes hours!) We knew we were always in her prayers.

I'm hoping that my kids will not come to regret or feel bitterness against my ex and I for not sending them off to Sunday School. So far at 19, 17 and 15 they haven't said anything about not attending church. But you never know,...as they get older, they have a way of springing things on you. Things that at the time you thought weren't such a big deal or things you didn't even realize you were doing and all the while it WAS a big deal and it was bothering them big time.

(Example, I used to brag about eldest being my "right-hand man" to just about everyone I talked to about her but years later she tells me that idea about her used to put pressure on her to live up to it. Ouch,.. go figger?!)

Despite the fact I don't go to church and I don't send my kids to church, I realize that for many, it's important and something that they feel the need or obligation to expose to their children. I have no problem with that. I have a problem with those who make you feel you are less than they are because you don't.

I also have a problem with society showing cruelness to people that want to live differently but who are not hurting anyone.

I still have my questions about things I read in the Bible. But I think in many ways, it can be a handbook on how to live with more joy and live with more success in this world. I just don't want it forced down my throat. I used to work with someone who did that too me and she just sucked the life force out of me, not to mention, it meant she took time away from doing her work!

Again, just like in my last post about religion, I said I still go back to things I learned in church, in times of stress! I told you that when I'm in a highly stressful, scary situation, I say The Lords Prayer and I must admit, when I see an ambulance or when I had to stick the key in the ignition of a car on it's last leg (for three nerve-wracking years) I used to do the sign of the cross!

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, please, Dear God, let this car start and get me to work,..just one...more...day!

~pr~

PS) hmm..interesting how I randomly selected this particular symbol and it's a SUNDAY morning!?

PPS) OMG I get an extra hour of sleep...let me goooo!!

Sun...Scorpio
Moon...Capricorn (do your joints hurt today?)
Phase...Crescent (do I sleep, do I clean. The energy is mixed today.)
Time...2:15pm
Weather...48 degrees and light rain in DC
Sound...Tracey Chapman,..."Fast Car"
Mood...agitated, nervous (too much coffee.)
Birthday Shout Out to: Kelly Osbourne #22 and Teddy Roosevelt!
QuoteDiva sez: "Adventure is not outside; it is within." -David Grayson

SabianChallenge: Virgo 27 degrees. Aristocratic elderly ladies drinking afternoon tea in a wealthy home. Face your situation with elegant composure as it will bring the respect of others. However keeping things looking respectable may take on too much importance. The question is: how real about life and each other are the people gathering. Caution: social exclusivity and smugness. Idle gossip.

...

*I have had two cups of coffee..nervous, agitated,..I have the sounds of construction going on outside AND I only have 15 mins. to work on this assignment! Not great factors to try and write something profound. To my kids who might be reading this in the future,..your mom sometimes had too much of the adult beverage, had hangovers, woke up the next day and tried to coffee her way out of a BAD hangover! argh...I can't even concentrate. I have to go out shopping for Halloween stuff...I hear the clock ticking...

O.k., clear the ole head Rubble (and it feels like it too!)...

My dad was a smart man, not just smart, INTELLIGENT! In fact he had a genius IQ. His mom and my mom were always trying to get him to join Mensa. The only association or club he ever belonged to was the NRA as he felt that amendment was an important one and hell, he taught marksmanship in the Army. Knowing my dad, there must have been a much more pragmatic reason he was a member. (Gawd, I wish he was around...lost him 19 years ago and it's only now as I get older that I seem to have a MILLION questions to ask him. Where were these questions when I was younger???)

But he once told me that he wasn't into clubs or organizations, he paraphrased a quote of I believe, Will Rodgers. Will once said something like,.."I don't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member." That was my dad's philosophy I suppose but I know for a fact he didn't like the politics, the gossip, the nonsense involved in being part of a whole like that.

He detested beauty contests and awards shows. "Too much damned back slapping for me!"

He attended a church "religiously" but never became an active member. He simply came with mom each week, tossed some money into the basket, shook a hand and left. He showed his service to God 7 days a week in other ways.

I am hoping to find out one day that my adoptive dad was my real dad! There's a slim chance. That would certainly explain our same fourth toes, our love of words and writing and this inexplicable dislike I have of being part of any club!

I have such a streak of independence that I wouldn't like to ever get tangled up in such entities. Trust me, I have in the past. I was a member of Phi Theta Kappa my first year of college and could never really understand what good they did (this particular chapter was all about having a good time! Woo hoo! Were smart AND we can PARRRTEHHHH!)

I became a founding member of a dance assoc. but I feel it was under duress! I loved to teach dance, wasn't into the politics.

I was recruited into the Stepford Wife-ian world of Mary Kay for a short time back in 2001 by a woman who could stand in for Janet Reno. That was a horrible experience! I was not EVER cut out to drive a pink Cadillac apparently. I'm sorry, when you say "no" to the cherry plum wine lipstick I have to sell ya'...I say, "okie doke" And uh I guess that's not how MaryKay borgs work?! Resistance seemed futile but I made my escape and never looked back!

To my kids I would say...choose your friends wisely and choose your organizations even more wisely because you are the company you keep. You lie with swill, you're gonna' get dirty.

You hang with elitist, snobs, bigoted or dense people, others will see YOU as such.

I think after 44 years, I'll go solo. The only club I want to be part of right now...my family.

~pr~