*this post inspired (and courtesy of) "Inside The Flame", ^Belle^, author.

It's Friday and you know what that means. Time for the Friday Five. This week with a Lingo Twist.. As always, answer any 5 or go tickle me Elmo crazy and answer them all. Ready...have at it...

1- Have you ever watched the same movie in a theater, back to back? If so, what?

***NOPE***

2-What are you most likely to rip out of a magazine or newspaper?

***THINGS FOR MY VISION BOARD (LATELY)***

3-Do you prefer shopping alone or with a friend?

***ALONE! AND I HATE SHOPPING FOR MYSELF ALMOST AS MUCH AS TALKING ON THE PHONE!***

4-Which gemstone do you prefer?

AMETHYST, AND IT ISN'T EVEN MY BIRTHSTONE >:(

5-What is your birthstone?

EMERALD

6-What series do you have or would you like to have, a complete DVD set of?

***I GOT ALL OF RENO 911 AND ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS.

7-When buying clothes, do you go for style or comfort?

***I TRY TO HIT A HAPPY MEDIUM-I LOVE COMFORT BUT I LIKE FASHION TOO.***

8-Favorite piece of jewelry?

***RIGHT NOW, MY FLIP FLOP CHARM/ NECKLACE...IT REMINDS ME OF WHERE I CAME FROM-FLORIDA AND MY BEACH!!!***

9-Which section of the newspaper do you read first?

***DON'T READ THE PAPER ANYMORE...BUT I USED TO START WITH "PARADE"***

10-Is there a section that you skip?

***SPORTS***

11-Where do you read, "snail mail"?

***KITCHEN***

12-If you could have dinner with anyone famous that is still living, who would it be?

***VALERIE BERTINELLI***

13-Where would you take them to eat?

***I'M SURE THERE ARE SOME GREAT PLACES HERE IN THE DC AREA.***

14-What did you have for breakfast?

***PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY ON TOAST AND COFFEE***

15-Something you collect that is displayed in the dining room or kitchen?

***BUNNIES***

Tell me what you think the phrases below mean.

16-"SQUIRT THE DIRT"? HMMM....CHOKE THE CHICKEN?

17-"KOJACK WITH A KODACK"?...TRUCKER TALK? SMOKEY WITH A NIKON!?

18-"CHOKE AND PUKE"? HEY, THESE ARE TRUCKER LINES, RIGHT?

19-"HAMMER LANE"? A LANE WHERE YOU CAN DRIVE FAST?

20-"GO-GO JUICE"? UM, COFFEE OR GAS? I'M HAVING AN OVERWHELMING URGE TO SING THAT 70'S CONVOY SONG RIGHT NOW! LOL!

======>next test<=====

1-Favorite thing to be covered with?

***MY MINKY FEELING BLANKET***

2-Name a unique or funny song title?

***A BOY NAMED SUE.***

3-Last thing you ordered at a restaurant?

***SUSHI!! YUM!***

4-Last thing you purchased online?

***BORING BUT, RETURN LABELS.***

5-Last TV show you watched?

***UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS.***

6-Something you hope the Easter Bunny brings you?

***I LOVE REECES' PEANUT BUTTER EGGS!***

7-If you could rename yourself after any candy,.what would it be?

"STARBURST"

8-Pick a word to describe how something feels?

***I'LL STICK WITH 'MINKY'!***

9-Pick a fruit or vegetable?

***TANGERINE***

10-Put number 8 and number 9 together.

***MINKY TANGERINE??!***

11-Does this best describe you, your best friend or significant other?

***MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER!***

12-You just had a baby....what is it's name?

***"I'LL-BE-64-WHEN-YOU-GRADUATE-HS" (TOO LONG OF A NAME?)***

13-If you HAD to kiss one of your teachers from high school...who would it be?

***MR. CLARK, 8TH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER...LOOKED A BIT LIKE A SEXIER MARTIN MULL NOT THAT MARTIN MULL DID IT FOR ME, MIND YOU!!!***

14-Do you have a ceiling fan in your room....if so...is there dust on it?

***NO*** AND ***NO***

15-Have you ever changed your clothing in a vehicle?

***USED TO CHANGE FOR DANCE CLASS IN THE BACK SEAT WHILE MOM WAS DRIVING.***

Thanks ^Belle^!!! These were fun!

*post topic inspired by Beautiful Disaster- Vegas, author*

[Photo of Chloe]

Vegas is in the unenviable position of having to consider putting her best buddy, her dog, Dudlee down. As most of us can attest to, who have been in that position, it's wrenching.

Reading her story and seeing her photos of him (which are adorable and sad.) reminds me of how horrible it was for me to have to put down my beautiful cat, Joey in 1982. He adopted me one rainy March day in '74...I was all of 11...my friend Diedre and I had been playing with him but when it started to rain, we both ran in opposite directions to get out of the storm. We were at the pool which is exactly half way to each other's apts. But Joey decided to follow ME home. I wonder how my life would have been, how different had he followed HER home!?

But about a month after my mom passed, he got sick and I had to make that terrible decision. I held him in my arms while they gave him the shot. Blessedly, it only took a second or two. No longer in pain, I handed him over and went home and sobbed like a mother who had just lost her child...or a sister who had just lost her hairy little brother.

I truly believe that (I WANT TO BELIEVE) that Chloe, my fiance's cat is Joey in another form. She looks like him. She gives off the same loving aura AND she is just as affectionate. Some cats are aloof...but not Joey and Chloe! And what about the name fiance gave her, CHLOE! Coincidence?

When Chloe moves on (she's 10, I don't know how long Havanna Browns live.) Fiance will be devastated. He's never lost an animal he's known as long. That's his little girl. He has no children, real children. That's going to be a horrible terrible, very bad day when she passes.

Until then though, she brings us so much happiness and joy.

We love you Chloe! And Joey...I still love you!

=^..^=

mew!

Michele

*post topic inspired by 4allthewrongreasons-Sybil, author.

She was my first (let's call her Miss Virgo as she was born August 30th.) and growing up she was always my "right hand woman". Later I was to find out that this description always bothered her. I suppose it put too much responsibility on her little shoulders. I thought differently. I thought it was me being proud of the fact my oldest could handle so much responsibility of helping to take care of two younger siblings. But in '06 at the age of 19, Miss Virgo let me know it actually wasn't a great thing to label her like that. She also told me then she forgave me for the mistakes I made along the way. I told her...."I did the best I could with what I had." I was happy that she didn't hold grudges. BUT since she's lived with my fiance and I and left...I've come across some papers that I guess I shouldn't have read (notebooks and yes journals from years back) and I've learned that she had and maybe still has some problems with me that she just never had the heart to discuss with me

Am I wrong to read her stuff...PROBABLY! My mom read my shit! I promised I'd never do the same but here I am 30 years later doing exactly what mom did. NOW I KNOW WHY MOM DID IT!!! Because I was never the type to feel comfortable talking to mom about deep things. But I'M DIFFERENT!!! I was always the kind of mom you could talk to...not like my mom, born in '30, kid of the depression...teen of the repressed 40s...etc... No damn it..I was the mom of the 80s and 90s! You can talk to me about anything...

Anything unless you are my daughter.

So anyway SYBIL..in answer to your question...do NOT feel guilty that you are considering not having your child live with you. We invited my Miss Virgo to live with us in May of '06 but by April of the following year it was evident that she didn't want our good advice, our propositions, our offers our wisdom...etc...NADA

I left the house when she was 14 because I could no longer live with her father...so she only had a part time mom. So I guess by the time she came back to me in '06 neither one of us knew what role I was really suppose to play....what kind of mom was I to her....what kind of daughter was she to me? We needed counseling!! BIG TIME. But we tried to manage on our own. It was a semi disaster.

She ended up being invited to move out with her boyfriend as this thing we had here with fiance, me and her wasn't working. She was too independent to follow some simple house rules.

But now it's Jan. of '08 and she and boyfriend have broken up. She asks in a round about way if she can come back. I thought about it for three days solid. It was MY decision said fiance. It broke my heart but the bottom line was NO.

It would just devolve once again to what it had been before.

No good for anyone.

So now she's living with yet another guy in NC. We are her safety net but she doesn't really know that. Were her last resort. But I want her to think she has other options before she gets to that...options like her dad....family members in FL....friends in FL....little does she know she could call me tomorrow and say MOMMMMMMMMM HELLLLPPPPPP!

She is currently flying by the seat of (her own) pants and on the strength of her own wings. I help now and again...money wise...$20 here, $100 there but mostly she's doing it on her own.

I have many regrets about things I did that could have been done better in regards to her....but I think one thing I will never be sorry for....saying no this time around.

I'm hoping she will understand all the reasons I said NO.

As I told Sybil....I don't think she'll fully understand why I did a lot of the things I did in her young lifetime...as her mother. I told both my daughter and Sybil that one day when she has a child of her own, THEN and only then would she fully grasp why it is I did what I did...the good things and the not so good things.

Miss Virgo...I love you. There's plenty I'm regretful over...but there's some things I did because it was the best thing for you. I hope one day you'll understand.

You are so precious to me. I wish you'd communicate with me more but I also know what I was like at 21....mom was dead but had she been alive, she'd be the last person I'd want to see each day God love her! And although dad was a cool guy and very mellow...I didn't want to see him too much either because when I did see him, he was always telling me to go back to college (silly me I didn't listen.) All he was good for was a weekly car maintenance check and lunch. I'm so sorry dad...I didn't get you, I didn't listen. Now I understand...what you tried to say to me ("Vincent"--Don McClean, 1972)....Dad died when I was 25....died thankful I was with a man that seemed to have it all together and would be a supportive husband...but dad also was probably sorry I never finished college (DAMN IT DAD, I WISH I HAD!!!!)

Miss Virgo...if you are reading this it's because I'm dead or because you are like 25 and I've finally felt like you are ready to read my blog....maybe you now have a child? Maybe you've finally buckled down and gotten your lousy GED ....maybe you are finally on your way to being the psychologist we both know you can be!!!

Right now tho' in the middle of the night....this night...all I can say is I'm sorry for my mistakes...

I love you....

So much.

And I will always be there....your safety net...but you will have to ask for the net to appear..and when you jump (that is "ask")....it WILL appear. Lovingly...from the heart...

Mom

*post topic inspired by "I Love You More Every Day" Janet Lynn, author.*

The other day a fellow Streamer said something to another Streamer about the sugary tone of their blog. I felt compelled to put in my two cents. I will be the first to admit, when I first, FIRST started reading her blog, many months ago, I thought the same thing...eesh, wow, very lovey dovey. But curiously enough, I kept coming back! After a while I started to read it through new eyes...more "awakened" eyes (that DAMNED TROLL, TOLLE!!! Some will get my reference! ) I started seeing why she blogged what she did and I came to find the subject absolutely endearing! Each day she writes about something she loves about her man. After many months, I finally commented and said, wow, that is a cool idea! And I went on to say,...that's the problem with the world today...corny but true..."what the world needs now, is love, sweet love."

The other blogger was absolutely wonderful about stepping up and apologizing for the remark and I know she feels bad and she realizes from where the remark came,(a place of hurt and insecurity)and everything's cool but it simply reinforced my theory of not enough love...too many people out there (me included at times) just don't know where we stand with others, we don't feel all that shored up when it comes to feeling loved and accepted, unconditionally. We are constantly asking for reassurance and sometimes it comes in the form of bad behavior (ego driven) and pettiness. The trick is to become aware of our behaviors and figure out the why behind it all and the HOW in overcoming them.

The woman whose blog I'm discussing mentioned that one of her driving forces behind her blog is to a)show her sweetheart how much she loves him and b)a record of sorts, perhaps for any future children; a literary legacy of what she was thinking and feeling in this moment in time.

I could certainly understand that! I believe I've written on that very subject in one of my early posts from late '06. MY particular reason for blogging was to create a "library" of my journaling. Now I could have done it privately but I loved the idea of this social network we have here (with all it's ups and downs!) it added to the journal experience. It was also a way to save my writings just in case, GOD FORBID my computer was ever destroyed etc...

I blog for my children. If I should die tomorrow they would know their mom better. I haven't had them around me consistently since '01 and they don't know ALL there is to know about me but at least courtesy of this blog, they would know so much more than I bet I could ever tell them.

My blog helps me sort out my thoughts and helps me get perspective on issues in my own life as well.

Sometimes, granted things get a bit weird around here or real life gets hectic...but it's a nice place to come home to. And worse comes to worse, I'd just shut off my comment section if I really felt the need (I haven't yet! I love your comments! )

We all blog for various reasons. But ultimately it's for US not them, for US, not you. (it's actually a very ego driven thang, ain't it!!!? BUT ego IS what makes us human after all!! )

Dear kids...I love you more than life....when anyone asks me what is my greatest fear, I say,..."anything happening to any of the three of you!" Dear Virgo, you are 21 and your wings develop more and more every day. I know we don't speak to each other as often as we did when you were younger but you know I'm always here. I'm so proud of how you take care of yourself. You are super resourceful. You are braver than I was at 21!

Dear Mr. Gemini...you were such a handful when you were a kid. I used to get so frustrated with you but now you are such a dear boy. I often wondered why God gave me such a child! Now I know! You made me a better mom and better person.

Dear Ms. Capricorn...you are my mini me...my heart...I adore you and you'll always be my little ones. There is so much love and promise in that heart of yours. Whether you become a nurse or actress...or whatever...you will do great things for others in this world in your lifetime.

To my ex...it wasn't ALL bad. And it takes two to tangle and tango. You are a good man and a good father. The kids couldn't have a better father in you.

To my fiance...you tell me you love me all the time. You never fail to make me feel secure in that love. I feel treasured by you. You are such a romantic at heart and deep to your core. God knew what he was doing when he reconnected us after all those years!

And that's why this one woman blogs.



Why do YOU blog?

OMfuckingG!!!!!

WTeverlovin'F?????

How in the HELL did I get my MOTHERS measurements...I'm adopted so I am really not like she was biologically...she was 5'8 and not really an apple, not really a pear...she was of German stock so she was firm but maybe running 160...me, I'm 5'2 and like I reported, 144, 145 and today I measured myself for the first time in 4 years and

The tale of the tape....not good...*shakes head*...it was quite sad.

I told a fellow blogger and friend in an email that I wanted to record my journey to fitness to help myself be a bit more accountable. I'm not looking for comments (but always welcomed you know that!) but no, this blog has taken a turn in a different direction.

I want a record of how I did it as it's part of my over all ONE WOMAN'S STORY. This is not going to start off pretty but it's GOT to start!!! It has!

This weekend we got mitts (saves the palms when you do the weights and weight machine)

A weighted vest (thanks Valerie Bertinelli for suggesting it.)

Ankle weights (for my ass exercises and hammies! OW, feels so good!)

And we decided to ease off on the weekends.

So fiance and I are attacking it! Thank God, he cooks healthy. My only problem was NOT EXERCISING.

For you women out there...yeh, I'll stand up and say it...

"I'm 39-34-39/40" Four years ago I was 36-28-36 and 120. I have 11 weeks until my 46th bday. I have until May 24th until our friends' wedding. I'm attaching a photo that pretty much was what I felt like after taking those measurements earlier today!

Dreww, ole sister of the Traveling Phat Pants...wherever you are...

This time....it's FOR REAL!!!!! I wasted 20 months....

NO MAS!!!

NO FREAKING MAS!!!