Sun...Aquarius
Moon...Capricorn
Time...4:23pm
Weather...overcast, 72 balmy degrees but not for long in DC!
Mood... o.k. feeling blessed.
Sound...Seal's A Kiss From A Rose.
BirthdayShoutOutsTo:Fabio (he's only a year older than me? He always looked older!)...Sly Stone (Sly and the Family Stone)....Mike Love (Beach Boys) and Roy Clark.

[EMOTICON:FKISS1]]..."Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln

We are trying to sell this house...which means a lot of forced Spring Cleaning. But you know how that goes, you always find things you haven't seen in ages. You find things you had been looking for...you find things that make you think...reflect....wax nostalgic.

That's what happened yesterday. I found the letter from my ex boyfriend (the one I thought was the love of my life.) that basically said....I'm sorry...looking back I realize I was kinda' a sumbitch!

And you come across photos....and poems....and the hurt resurfaces.

TO A DIFFERENT DEGREE! You know you are getting past it when you can read things and see things for what they really are...THE PAST!

I came across a poem that I wrote to him in 2002. I had been seeing him since Feb. 2002 and now it was November and I had not once heard I LOVE YOU pass his lips and I was way too nervous to say it to him. My friend convinced me to go ahead and tell him how I feel and see where it leads. So I did. You know what happened? He essentially patted me on the head and said, "lovely poem." I should have known! I should have run then but I was sooooooo in love with him.

In March of 2003 we both wrote letters that crossed in the mail! "Break up letters" His was sincere and beautifully written...mine...was simply a preemptive strike I didn't mean!!! Oh well!

Here's the poem. I am not a poet...poem me back and Petra...now those are the resident poets!! I don't DO poetry...but everyonce in awhile I get inspired.

Just in case I lose this little scrap of paper that I did the sloppy copy on...here it is forever, in the Stream!



SHE WAITED SEVERAL MONTHS
TO SAY IT TO HER MAN
ALTHOUGH SHE KNEW HE KNEW
AND COULD FULLY UNDERSTAND
BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE
HIM
FEEL TRAPPED IN ANY WAY
SO SHE KEPT IT TO HERSELF-
(WHAT SHE WANTED MOST TO SAY.)

SHE KNEW THE CHANCE WAS GREAT
HE MIGHT NOT SAY IT BACK
AND WHILE SHE FELT THE URGE
IT WAS COURAGE THAT SHE LACKED.

BUT UPON HER FRIEND'S ADVICE:
"TELL HIM
WHAT YOU
WANT TO SAY...
AND BE PREPARED TO FACE
THE CHIPS FALLING
WHERE THEY MAY."

HE KNEW JUST WHAT WAS COMING
AND HE KNEW THAT IT WAS TRUE
AND SHE HELD HER BREATH AND
NERVOUSLY
WHISPERED
"I LOVE YOU."

-pr-

PS) But now I am with my soulmate
my split apart through and through
and every single blessed day
he tells me...."I LOVE YOU!"

So take that ex boyfriend...take THAT!!!!

Sun...Aquarius
Moon...Capricorn (time to take responsibility)
Time...2:10pm
Sound...Christina's Court
Weather...60 degrees in DC and SUNNY
Mood...wishing we could hurry up and SELL this home of ours!
BirthdayShoutOutsTo:James Taylor, Al Jarreau, Jack Kerouac, Wally Schirra (astronaut)
QuoteDiva sez: "Experience teaches slowly and at the cost of mistakes." -James A. Froude (1818 - 1894)

Here's a list of firsts for me....feel free to share some of YOUR firsts!

1.) The first pop song I remember. ("Downtown" by Petulia Clark)

2.) My first favorite toy. (My chalkboard (I was 3)

3.) My first grammar school crush. (A little 6 year old named Jimmy.)

4.) My first favorite teacher. (Miss Wright (4th grade)

5.) My first kiss. (I was 15 and it was....um,...WOW!!!!! I literally DID see fireworks!)

6.) The first time I had sex. (I was 21 and it was like,.."is this it?" )

7.) My first marriage. (March 20th, 1987 (lasted 14 years)

8.) First child. (August 30th, 1987. I was scared and excited!)

9.) First person I voted for for Prez. (Ron Reagan, '80)

10.) First time I went on the internet and realized, I'm hooked! (January 1996!)

-pr-

Sun...Aquarius
Moon...Sagittarius (great for exercise and sports and kid activities)
Time...5:48pm
Weather...Beeeutiful, sunny, mild, a slight breeze--60 in DC
Mood...mixed bag today (yup, that about sums it up)
Sound..."I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight"
BirthdayShoutOutsTo:
1982 Thora Birch (actress)
1950 Bobby McFerrin (pianist, jazz musician, songwriter, singer)
1934 Sam Donaldson (newsman)
1931 Rupert Murdoch (Media mogul)
1903 Lawrence Welk (bandleader)

QuoteDiva sez:"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand."

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

In a few weeks my fiance will be 45 years old. Two months after that I join him. As I push the clock forward an hour I couldn't help but think that's what I'm doing in life...pushing forward but not with the right kind of attitude. We usually curse having to move the clock forward don't we and yet we love having that extra light at the end of our day! So with the negative comes a positive.

My body is starting to change. I have more aches and pains...more gray hairs, more wrinkles. The texture of my hair and skin is slowly morphing into something else. I need glasses. I need a physical. I need a mammogram. I'm afraid of what might be wrong.

While I have these big dreams of acting and voice over I find myself reverting back to the old habits of insecurity and lack of confidence. It's an ingrained habit. It's just easier.

Over the past few months I've preached about positive thinking. Well I really need to take my own advice. Sometimes it's a matter of "Physician, heal thyself." Look at your average nurse and doctor...they are overweight and smoke! Can a psychiatrist treat himself? Sometimes it takes an educated outsider to evaluate the curriculum and figure out why a teacher isn't getting the test grades she wants her class to get.

Fiance and I were talking about things like this last night. We had a good, long talk. We both agreed we need to think more positively about our next 40 years! We agree we need to get in shape, continue to nurture our relationship; basically strive to reinforce the infrastructure that is "us."

We do that by focusing on what's important to us not only emotionally but financially and let's go one step further,...we need to be there and supportive of each other's dreams. That might mean a hug or a kick in the butt! But we must always remember, we are a team as we go through the next half of our lives. Just because were a hair away from half a century doesn't mean we need to slow down and start wallowing in pity or start believing it's the end.

It's only the beginning,...again!

So 45? Bring it on...POSITIVELY

-pr-

Sun...Pisces
Moon...Full in Virgo! (Good time to declutter your life!)
Time...10:52pm
Weather...33 degrees in DC
Sound...silence
Mood...o.k.
BirthdayShoutOutsTo:Chasity Bono (old enough to remember when she was cute and adorable!)...Patricia Heaton and Vivaldi
QuoteDiva sez:"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." - Andy Warhol

For those of you who are regular readers of the RUBBLE GAZETTE...I just wanted you to know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth!!! But fiance's back in town (spent two weeks in FL with his mom who was at death's door but is now doing o.k. and driving everyone crazy with her demands! He lined up about four people to help watch her so she could go back home where she wanted to be. She refused to go to a nursing home. The tough southern belle bird has risen again. She is what is called an under breather and she will need to be monitored closely. But for now, she's o.k.)

We are also trying to get expense reports done and some of you might know what that's like!

Then there is general spring cleaning to do in order to get this house up for sale (wish us luck...it's a buyer's market)...

And then in two weeks it's going to be time for another road trip to see my two youngest in FL and of course a visit to MIL (God willing-so that she can drive us crazy and take some of the heat off my SIL!)

So the month of March is going to be cah-ray-zee!!! So if you don't see a lot of me (post-wise) that's what's going down! I'll comment here and there however...I can't stay away for long...and I WILL keep my "Rubble's American Idol Blog" current!!! (Thanks for your participation by the way!!!)

Re:Phat Pants....while Drew's blog might be a bit inactive...I do want to report I've gone from 144lbs to 137 and my goal of 120 is right around the corner! I SHALL SUCCEED!!!

And with that....I will grab my proverbial fishing pole and bait and head on out!

Don't forget me!!

-pr- Namaste!

Sun....Pisces
Moon...Leo
Phase...almost full...(this Saturday in Virgo and a lunar Eclipse then too!)
Time...2:35PM
Weather...overcast and 51 degrees in DC
Mood...busy cleaning house.
BirthdayShoutOutsTo: Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Ron Howard, Roger Daltry, Yitzak Rabin, Glen Miller

QuoteDiva sez: A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright

THE LETTER U
Are you wearing underwear?: Let me check...yup.
Underwear or boxers?: Puh-leeze.

THE LETTER V
What's the worst veggie: I HATE, nay, DETEST Brussel Sprouts!
Where do you want to go on vacation?: England, Ireland and Hawaii

THE LETTER W
What's your worst fear?: Anything happening to my children.

THE LETTER X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: Last time in 2003 (broken wrist)
Have you seen the x-games?: Not interested.
Do you own a xylophone?: I always liked the sound of them!

THE LETTER Y
Do you like the color yellow? Yes, but not one of my favs. Really like it in Spring.
What's one thing you yearn for?: Answers to my adoption questions.

THE LETTER Z
Whats your zodiac sign?: Taurus
Do you believe in the zodiac?: I believe in Astrology, not "the zodiac"
Favorite zoo animal?: Monkeys! They're as fun as a barrel full of...well, you know! But as Planet of the Apes IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE...I always look at those monkeys and think, "I know what YOU'RE THINKING you...you,...MONKEYS!"


***YOUR TURN FOLKS! Let's finish this thing UPS!***

-pr-